Scott's Film

Awhile back I went to a Google event - as an alumnus I got an invite, but there were plenty of non-ex-Googler's there as well - and I met a guy named Scott. My main goal when I go to these sorts of events is to talk to lots of people, rather than to stay and hear the lectures. I usually leave after the initial mingling phase, and that was true this time as well; but before I left, Scott and I had a really interesting conversation about our predictions for Google's future, and what we thought it was doing right and wrong; and we exchanged business cards.

It turned out Scott worked in my neighborhood, just a few short blocks from my house, so we met up for lunch, and I invited him to my birthday party that week. At the party he fell in love with my apartment - really my parents' apartment, though they don't live in it - and he asked if he could shoot a film there, that he was working on.

It turned out that Scott had been really into film-making for awhile, and had started a local meetup, and had scrounged together tools and people to make some short films. It was really impressive. That kind of hobby is expensive and difficult. It takes real management skills to get 15 or 20 people to work really hard for virtually no money on three or four disparate days. But he enjoys it.

So I asked my parents if they minded him using the place; and they said it was fine, as long as I had some trusted people there to make sure nothing was stolen; and as long as they didn't totally rearrange the furniture and whatnot.

Yesterday I had lunch with Scott. He'd emailed me a few times while I was in California, partly to keep in touch because of us being friends, and partly by way of managing one of his film resources, making sure the apartment would be available on the days he needed, and giving me the reassurances I needed.

He was skillful about the whole thing. Not too pushy, but clearly following his checklist, making sure everything that needed to get handled, got handled.

Meanwhile I was there in California, and one of the things I always talk about with Kar when I visit, is what it takes to do a job really well. I did all right at Google, but she has been climbing the rungs of executive positions at her job, and is beloved of all, and widely agreed to be just about perfect at whatever she takes on.

So I sort of look at Scott through the lens of how he's going about doing this job he's taken on - making this film.

Up until this lunch yesterday, it seemed as though he was doing a great job as producer, and would probably do great as director when the time came. But then as we were finishing up the meal he told me that if this film didn't "raise any eyebrows", and get shown at festivals, and inspire a studio to want to fund his next movie, that he'd probably give up on film-making.

Maybe he was just expressing the same sort of emotion I've seen from others, where they are putting everything they've got into a project, and just feel like after this they're done.... until it's actually over, and they start getting ideas for the next project.

Or maybe he was expressing another emotion that I've also seen a lot from others, where they have overestimated their own skill, and have been fantasizing about the amazing success they're going to have, and what a big splash they'll make. I've been guilty of that kind of thinking myself.

I've never seen any of his films, so I have no way of knowing what his abilities are really like. But I read his script, and it's pretty dark and depressing - the sort of story that's easier to write than an adventure or a comedy. It had the feel of an early work. So at lunch, when he said he might give up film-making after this if he didn't raise eyebrows, I told him that was nuts, that he shouldn't pin all his hopes on this one effort; and that regardless of the fate of this film, he should definitely keep making more. He'd obviously developed quite a significant ability to organize and produce a film on a budget of just a few thousand dollars. That was not easy, and it was not a common ability for anyone to develop. If this one panned out even to the point of actually being completed, it would stand to reason his next one would be even better.

After I said that, things seemed to get a little awkward though. I think he might have been more encouraged if I'd said that his film had a great chance to raise eyebrows and get picked up by a studio. I think he probably just wanted some generic encouragement like that, instead of being asked to think beyond this one film, and beyond the possibility of the project's success.

So I think I misjudged that conversation, and I felt bad. Later we talked a little about my own future plans, and he was encouraging in exactly the way that I hadn't been, saying that my plans sounded great (even though they sounded sketchy at best), and that it could totally work out (even though it could be completely misguided). So, the contrast struck me. I felt bad as we parted ways at his office and I headed home. I felt as though he felt I'd said his project was going to fail; and as though now, he's got to follow up with me about shooting at my apartment, and manage me as a resource, and just overcome that awkwardness until the job is done. It feels as though once the film is finished now, so is the friendship.

On the other hand!

That'd be a pretty silly thing to get in the way of an actual friendship; and I never have any qualms about reaching beyond that kind of awkwardness to bridge the distance between myself and someone else, especially if I have an appreciation of that person's intrinsic qualities - which in Scott's case, I do. So yeah, I felt bad about that little interchange; but it doesn't dampen my enthusiasm for Scott as a person; I've given way worse offense to others, and I've found that it just doesn't pay to get discouraged by that sort of thing.

Again, I think about Kar, and what she'd do in a similar circumstance... - she'd be her usual ebullient self, and if that didn't work, she'd come up with an appropriate, non-over-the-top apology, explaining what she'd experienced, and expressing a lot of support for the other person. I love Kar. I don't think I quite have her ebullience, or perhaps her keen judgment of situations; but I work OK with what I've got.