Yesterday was Columbus Day, but I tried to swim anyway. This often happens. I'll get up, organize the swimming stuff, walk over to the recreation center, only to discover.... it's Saturday! Or something like that. This time it was, it's Columbus Day! And there's always this one guy who is there watching over the place, and he'll unlock the door and be like, "sorry, man. Would you like a copy of the schedule?" Me and that guy are developing quite a rapport, just from me coming in on days when the pool is closed.
The thing is, because of the way I've set up the ritual, it's not a failure. To fulfill the ritual, I need to get up in time, get dressed, and make it to the recreation center. If I don't get to swim because the place is closed, I've still fulfilled the ritual. Technically I suppose, the rule is, "touch the water". But making it to the main entrance also works for me. So whenever it happens, I always walk home smiling to myself, thinking, "I did it!"
A few months ago, I had this realization, that everyone weighs the same in the pool. I told that to one of my friends and she was like, "speak for yourself!" But it's true. We're basically weightless in there. Connected to that idea, I realized that whatever injury I may have, whatever physical weakness I may be laboring under, whatever it is, it's going to be easier to deal with in the pool. Torn ligaments, broken bones, you name it. It'll bother me less in the weightlessness of the water.
I told that to another one of my friends, and she said that the water pressure itself was enough to exacerbate her knee injuries. Fine. And OK sure, I guess if you're bleeding from some kind of wound, the pool isn't so great for that either.
But still, it's really true! No matter how crappy I feel in the morning, no matter what aches and pains have been bothering me, I know I'll feel better in the pool. And that really motivates me! Actually it's more of an anti-unmotivator. Double negative. It stops me from feeling like I don't want to go, or like I just can't make it, or something like that.
The psychology of exercise is pretty strange. Back around March, when I was first trying to establish this swimming ritual, I found myself thinking about it in terms of addiction; I found myself justifying the ritualization of it in my mind, because it would set up an addictive pattern that would lead to good health. And I was all excited about getting addicted.
I really have to do it though. The aches and stiffness and injuries get too bad to deal with if I don't. When I started in February, I was a mess. By the time Summer came, and the recreation center messed me up by switching to an outdoor pool with essentially private lanes, I had progressed to 30 laps a day, and no more aches. But now, having not swum in a month or so, I've got some of the aches back, and I can barely do 10 laps. If I don't get back into it now that the indoor pool is available again, I'll just go back to aching and suffering again.
So that's a big motivator. The desire for comfort. That's what leads me to walk home after a failed attempt at swimming, smiling and saying, "I did it!"
OK, time for me to head out to the pool.
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